I am noticing that I am finding it hard to actually Stand Still when I have some other big thing on my mind. Like getting ready to go away. I'm leaving on a personal retreat this morning and yesterday was filled with catching up on stuff to do to get ready for me to be away.
And I could hear my thoughts which were something like this, every time I thought maybe I could Stand Still for a few seconds, "Oh don't worry about that. We can do lots and lots of that when we're on retreat!" And so I didn't stop yesterday, not even once until I sat down to watch Glee with Jeff.
Of course, it didn't help that it was raining in the morning and I didn't get to walk with Suzy. Or that I had an almost 2 hour conference call in the afternoon PLUS two vet visits- one with Suzy for her annual check-up and one with Sasha for an ear infection. Or that after Sasha's appointment at 6 pm I had to drive to Whole Foods
(25 min. drive) to get the homeopathic remedy.
Sigh. At least I am aware, right?
Some day, may this all be different. For now, I am just doing the best that I can.
Anyway, on Monday night I was having trouble sleeping so I got up at 2 a.m. (or was it 3?) and stood out on the back deck with Suzy, letting the light of the full moon glow around me. I felt loved, protected, seen. So there was a good amount of Standing Still happening right then and that felt soooo good.
What I love about the longer amounts of Standing Still (if I can do it for a whole minute or longer) is that I feel like I am giving myself time and space, that I am breathing spaciousness into my life in a concrete and visceral way that allows me to make room for Spirit, for my higher and brightest self, and for my Bright Ones, to move in closer to me. It feels like I am putting space between this thing and the next thing, and doing that relieves a lot of pressure, a lot of stress. Am not sure I am expressing this properly. But it's enough for today!
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