I didn't write yesterday because I woke up with many "flu-like symptoms" related to the chemo treatment that I had on Wednesday. A little fever, achy all over and totally washed out. I just couldn't focus on this and I am pretty sure that at no point during the day yesterday did I pause and stand still. I might get there by the end of these treatments, though. And that would be a major miracle, I am thinking!
This morning I woke up feeling MUCH better, maybe a 5 on the Anne Marie Wellness Scale. Yesterday I was at 1.5, so that is major improvement.
Still, I didn't PAUSE until I was already out of the car and at the grocery store, yet just that little slow motion AHA moment was enough to bring me back to the present. I had already taken myself through many activities (drinking water, feeding the cats, showering, brushing my teeth, flossing, making a grocery list, checking my email, that I did NOT stop to acknowledge, but I am not beating myself up over this.
Also, I did not pause before I sat down at this laptop to create these blog entries. But I am stopping now. This is me and I am typing at my keyboard. This is me and I am creating something special.
My commitment today is to at least stop myself 7 times in the course of a new activity and breathe deeply and remind myself that I am in THIS moment only, remind myself that I am in a body and that my body and mind and spirit are working together on something.
I will report in tomorrow. This is me and I am ending this blog entry now.
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