You Are Here

I've been reading Thich Nhat Hanh's book, You Are Here, and am being encouraged again and again to sloooooooow down, not just my life, but my steps, my thoughts, my breath. If I can just DO this.... my life will be happier, more open to love and joy.

But it's not a matter of DO-ing, is it? I can't DO anything to slow myself down. I have to let myself BE... that is how it is "done."

Most days I am able to spend at least 30 minutes in quiet meditation. Sitting still rather than standing still. Sometimes I just focus on the in-out... in-out... in-out... of my breath, my stomach rising and falling. And sometimes I go into the netherworld of my imagination and spend time in my Inner Sanctuary, which is a big cozy house on the ocean with a forest behind it. And sometimes I do a bit of both.

One of the things he says in his book, and often, is that we are to stop judging ourselves, stop being unkind to ourselves. And just to be with what is. Just to let it be. To surrender to what is.

There is a fine line, I am finding, between settling for what is and surrendering to it. Like, my Naturopath tells me that certain of my blood levels are rising instead of falling. If I settle for that, and say "Oh well, that's how it is, I guess the cancer is back," then I am giving up. But surrendering to it means accepting those blood levels just as they are. Not punishing myself because the levels are elevated instead of lowered. Not wondering what I did wrong to make this happen. And as soon as I can find that space of true acceptance, as soon as I surrender to WHAT IS, I have opened a space in my being for change to occur.

I am still working with this, but I can tell you that everything he says in this book is true, true, true!

I had the thought, reading it this morning, that when I finish reading it I will start reading it all over again, because the book itself (altho small and slim in volume) is a compendium of wisdom, a classroom on mindfulness in 135 pages... and I could keep on reading it forever and ever and still get new things out of it every week, every month, every year. But I have underlined and highlighted and circled and written in the margins. So I will buy another copy of it, fresh and clean, and read it again. And again. And again. Until the lessons within start to adhere to my soul and to the pages of my own days. Until all my thoughts and feelings are coated with compassion and acceptance. Until the lessons in surrendering are as habitual to me as my breath.

Creating Happiness at Will

I just read something in Thich Nhat Hanh's "Your True Home" that really jumped out at me:

Suppose you are offered a cup of tea, very fragrant, very good tea. If your mind is distracted, you cannot really enjoy the tea. You have to be mindful of the tea, you have to be concentrated on it, so the tea can reveal its fragrance and wonder to you. That is why mindfulness and concentration are such sources of happiness. That's why a good practitioner knows how to create a moment of joy, a feeling of happiness, at any time of the day. (#6)

Something inside of me jumped up and said YIPPPPPEEEEEE!!! when reading this, because this captures exactly what I am trying to do, discover, experience in this Standing Still Experiment which of course is all about mindfulness.

I am wanting, yearning for a stripping away of the old, deluded thoughts and feelings that have been governing my actions for years and years. I want to be in the PRESENT, not bemoaning the past or harboring fear about the future. I am wanting to be able to create these moments of joy and happiness throughout my days, at will, intentionally, because I CHOOSE to feel joy, because I CHOOSE to be present and mindful and attentive.

And every time I remember and choose to stand still, to pause, to let go of past and future and simple BE here, right now... I am choosing to feel joy because the wonder of each present moment brings joy to my heart.

This is why, when we went to the vet's on July 15, 2011 to put dearly beloved Sasha to sleep because of her seizures, I was able to not be torn apart by sorrow. I was able to be present right there, with her and the vet and his assistant and my husband. I chose to stand still even in the face of such heavy sadness. And lots of truths broke through for me. Spirit was so close to me. I felt on the edge of both worlds and even though staying in the present moment was excruciatingly painful, it was also almost unbearably filled with light.

The Sitting Still Experiment

These days I'm often recovering or "coming back from" a chemo treatment, so it looks like this experiment is transforming itself into one of sitting still instead of standing still. I am not able to take long walks with Suzy every morning. Once in a while I do walk to the end of the driveway, or the path from the parking lot to the Dog Park.

But mostly my days revolve around sitting. On the sofa (right side, cushion vertically up so my head can lean back), on the brown recliner in my Quiet Room, in the car.

I am enjoying all of this sitting still, to tell the truth. Although, if I'm not careful, I see that I can "zone out" just as easily while sitting quietly as I can when I have lots more energy and am rushing about on two feet "getting things done."

It all comes down to what's going on in my mind. I can be sitting in an easy chair in silence but the thoughts can still be going 100 mph in my head. Or I can be rushing around doing 4 errands in the course of an hour but my busy mind can be "sitting still" enough for me to remain centered and calm in the midst of time crunches and to-do lists.

So it all comes down to my thoughts, my mind. Mindfulness. It's not about my body sitting still, but MY MIND sitting still. That is where the true lesson lies for me.

Learning Slowly

Well, I don't know if I did the pausing thing SEVEN times after that last entry, but I did come pretty darned close and it felt good.

Yesterday we went to Boston to get a second opinion about Jeff's slow-growing lymphoma, and the trip wiped me out. We took "The Ride" so at least I didn't have to drive. A few times during the ride, I was able to pause and breathe and be with myself. The whole thing wore me out, though and when I got home all I could do was lie down and read/close my eyes/watch TV.

When I feel like that, the Pausing is more difficult.

So this whole process is a slow moving thing, and I am grateful for the amount of time it is taking me to learn it. Maybe I will never learn it well enough to do it all of the time. Is there anyone who does? I doubt it!

I am just being patient with myself. So far this morning I have "remembered" about three times and I've been up for about 5 hours. But this is progress, I remind myself.

The remembering, the pausing, the stopping, the breathing, the noticing... it's all bringing me closer to myself and to Spirit. And that is what I want more than anything else.

This Is Me And I Am...

I didn't write yesterday because I woke up with many "flu-like symptoms" related to the chemo treatment that I had on Wednesday. A little fever, achy all over and totally washed out. I just couldn't focus on this and I am pretty sure that at no point during the day yesterday did I pause and stand still. I might get there by the end of these treatments, though. And that would be a major miracle, I am thinking!

This morning I woke up feeling MUCH better, maybe a 5 on the Anne Marie Wellness Scale. Yesterday I was at 1.5, so that is major improvement.

Still, I didn't PAUSE until I was already out of the car and at the grocery store, yet just that little slow motion AHA moment was enough to bring me back to the present. I had already taken myself through many activities (drinking water, feeding the cats, showering, brushing my teeth, flossing, making a grocery list, checking my email, that I did NOT stop to acknowledge, but I am not beating myself up over this.

Also, I did not pause before I sat down at this laptop to create these blog entries. But I am stopping now. This is me and I am typing at my keyboard. This is me and I am creating something special.

My commitment today is to at least stop myself 7 times in the course of a new activity and breathe deeply and remind myself that I am in THIS moment only, remind myself that I am in a body and that my body and mind and spirit are working together on something.

I will report in tomorrow. This is me and I am ending this blog entry now.

Progress Being Noted

Well, it's definitely not easy, remembering to pause before beginning a new activity. Mainly, I realize, because there are SO MANY new activities in an hour, much less in a day.

So far my day went like this:

Get up go to the bathroom feed the cats take a shower. PAUSE> This is me, taking a shower. Ahhh..... Put on makeup affix new butterfly pin to hat make 6 new ornaments. PAUSE> This is me sitting at my art table, creating something beautiful. Ahhhh... Go downstairs put on jacket grab purse and coupons get in car put car in gear drive out of driveway and down the street to the stop sign. PAUSE> This is me in my car, going to do errands. Ahhhhh....

You get the picture? I am just posting this here to show that I am not doing this perfectly, or even well, and 99% of the time I am not even pausing BEFORE the activity, but during it (because I am not remembering ahead of time). My mind is still programmed to go, go, go, mindlessly moving from this thing to that thing without even thinking about what I am doing.

My commitment here is to change this patterning, change this speed at which I "do" my life. Every time I stop and become aware of what I am doing, and take a breath, I am shot through with little sparks of joy. Ahhhh.... here I am, back in my body again, paying attention to what my eyes are seeing and my ears are hearing. All in all, a beautiful way to live a life.

Pausing Before New Activities

As I am sensing new ways and directions that my life can move in now (see entry below), I am also sensing a need to slow down deliberately.

I have found that if I can remember to stop before beginning a new activity and breathe deeply, at least one time, and NAME what I am about to do, that this slows me down just a bit more, and enough to make a huge difference in my mindfulness and consciousness of what I am doing and how I am feeling and the ways that I am spending my time.

I only just started doing this a few days ago and I will admit that I am only able to do this about 20% of the time, but I feel SO good when I do do it, that it is my intention to continue this practice for always.

I will also admit that I did NOT take this pause before beginning this blog entry! I am just realizing this right now. So this blog will be a good motivator for me to pay more attention to the transitions from one activity to another as each day goes on.

Blank Spaces and Interim Time

I read somewhere once that the blank spaces in a journal say A LOT without any words being written. So there has been a "blank space" here on this blog of, oh, about 6 months.

So it's true... A LOT has been going on in my life since I last made an entry here, and I assure you that I have thought longingly of this particular blog during my absence from this screen.

In mid-June I learned that my dear friend Lis was dying of a rare kind of cancer that she'd been fighting for two years.

In late June I noticed that my left (2-lumpectomied) breast was looking bruised and there was a new red bump as well so I went to my breast surgeon and (from late June through mid July) went through a mammogram, skin biopsy, an ultrasound, an MRI guided needle biopsy and I can't remember what else.

In mid-July I was diagnosed with secondary angiosarcoma of the breast, which is a very rare cancer that ONLY forms as a result of radiation treatments for breast cancer (which I had in 2002). On July 25 I had a mastectomy and my brilliant surgeon (Dr. Stephen Karp, Lahey Clinic, Burlington MA) got clean and generous margins around the tumor. Also, my PET scan was clear.

I spent August recovering from the surgery, and in late September started adjuvant chemotherapy treatments "just in case" any stray cells got loose before he took out the tumor. The chemo will be done hopefully by the end of January. In March I am planning to have a reduction on my right breast so am looking forward to a better looking and feeling body!

Also, on July 3, my friend Lis died but I couldn't attend the funeral because I was recovering from the MRI Guided Needle Biopsy (not a procedure for the faint at heart), and then on July 15 we bid a final good-bye to my dearly beloved Sasha-Girl (age 18) who had been having seizures all week.

Needless to say, the losses have been huge and I am still processing much of it as the days turn from summer to fall, from light to dark, from warm to cool and cold again.

I am dedicated, of course, to moving through the darkness of life circumstances and feelings to get to the bright side of the road. And I can see, even in the aggravation and annoyance of the side effects from my chemo treatments, that this whole experience is SLOWING ME DOWN. A LOT!!!

Standing Still Angel

This is my SoulCollage® card that I usually call "Angel of Patience." I made it a long time ago and it has always spoken to me of Patience in the large archetypal sense of the word. Patiently watering the flowers, consistenly taking care of the growth, not hurrying the growth, just staying with it and observing it. Plants and flowers grow slowly and she is patiently allowing the growth to happen.

Today I drew this card in my Daily Reading and all of a sudden I could see that she is STANDING STILL... and that she is a beautiful and "spot-on" image for my huge desire to stay connected to myself no matter what is happening around me.

I have been struggling this past week with all kinds of feelings that are coming up around my youngest stepdaughter whose ex-husband just admitted he is addicted to pills and alcohol but is refusing to get help. I have been through something similar with an alcoholic back in the 80's, which was of course a LONG time ago. But what is happening with my stepdaughter is flinging all of it back up in my heart again.

And man, it is HARD feeling those feelings, watching this happen to her (and to him), and knowing that I can't DO anything to help her.

But see how, in my card above, there is a dark storm happening right there, next to the scene of the peaceful angel who is watering the flowers? Lightning and (no doubt) thunder and dark heavy clouds dumping cold rain. And yet she stands, still, and focused on her one and only task of watering the flowers. She does not let herself be distracted by the storm raging outside, by the cracks of thunder, the sharp hisses of lightning.

I am going to let this be a visual reminder for me to stay connected on the inside, to stay connected to myself, no matter what happens around me. This is all that matters.

Mother's Day Is Not My Favorite Holiday

Well, I struggle with this every year. It does get a little better every year AS LONG AS I acknowledge and accept and embrace ALL of the feelings that come up for me around Mother's Day.

It's hard for me because it always reminds me that I didn't get the healthy mothering I desperately needed and wanted as a child and teen and young adult. My mom is gone and I did/do love her, but there was a huge gap in my emotional education because of her, and on Mother's Day I strongly feel that lack.

Also, to make things worse, I don't have my own children, BUT I helped my husband raise his two older children from the time they were 7 and 10 through adulthood. And after the "honeymoon" phase was over, it was really really REALLY really difficult. I lost many parts of myself on that journey. I sacrificed a LOT for them, not that they asked me to, of course, but still... MOTHER'S DAY really brings all of that back to me, and it also makes me feel like all of those years was for nothing and that I was a failure as a stepmom because otherwise, the kids would recognize me in some way... and yet, they never do.

Last year I decided to hell with family Mother's Day gatherings. I'm a mother too, damn it, but no one ever seems to notice this, particularly his children who are now all grown with children of their own. My friend Elaine and I are making a tradition of going out to lunch together on Mother's Day. That feels good to me.

Anyway, even though this weekend was difficult for me, made worse by the fact that I fell on Thursday and smashed my knee and have been icing it and trying to stay off of it since then.... I was able to stop and Stand Still 3 or 4 times throughout the weekend, even though it was for very short periods of time.

One time I stopped in front of my altar, closed my eyes and felt my body and said "Thank you." One time in the car I took a few deep breaths and came back to the present moment. Another time I was sitting on the couch at 2 a.m. with the dog's head in my lap, and I stopped what was going on in my mind and said "This is me feeling sorry for myself... this is me with insomnia.... this is me sitting with the dog."

And all of that centered me just enough to help me be with the pain, to help me to breathe myself though it. In only 10-15 seconds each time.

I am incredibly grateful that I got through another Mother's Day weekend, and I am happy that I was able to remember to Slow Down and Stand Still, at least for a few seconds at a time, because it made ALL the difference!

P.S. Amanda, Jeff's oldest daughter, sent me flowers yesterday too. That also soothed my weary heart.

Feeling Like a Failure

This is me... feeling like a failure... this is me... not wanting to write in here.

Well, I guess it happens every time when someone tries to start a new practice. I haven't been keeping up with the Standing Still Experiment, and so I have been avoiding writing in here. But here you go. And here I am anyway. It's time to get back into it. It's time to start taking those three deep breaths and grounding myself back into myself on a regular basis.

My intention for standing in front of my Altar three times a day seems to be just too big for me right now. I will feel happy if I remember/remind myself to do it every morning before I sit down at the computer. Anything else, right now, will be a bonus. I have done it two days in a row now. I am hoping that I can do the Altar thing every morning from now on, just like I am in the habit of doing the gratitude list (a la Melody Beattie) now every morning after checking my 3 emails.

I need to remember that I only have to take this new growth, this new transformation one tiny step at a time.

I get so frustrated with myself, you know? There are so many things I want to be incorporating into my self-transformation and there just doesn't seem to be enough time in the day.

Breathing... standing still... remembering who I am... and naming what I am going through... this is my priority right now.

Standing Still at My Altar

This is the Altar I've been creating. It is on top of my bookcase which is to the right of my desk.

It's been sitting there for a few months now but I haven't been "using" it. I've hardly even been LOOKING at it. So this weekend I cleaned it off and started over. Added the Quan Yin statue and the icon. Rearranged the prayers and intentions that I would like to be saying out loud on a daily basis.

My PLAN is to Stand Still in front of it at least 3 times a day, but right now I am lucky if I remember to do this first thing in the morning before I sit down at the computer! I did do it today, I am happy to report.

My idea is that this will slow me down during my days. Bring me back to my body and out of my head.

My Soul Vows are there, as well as the list of "Dead" that I have buried and my intention prayer that I made during Janet Conner's Lotus and the Lily class in December. Which, now that I think of it, is when my whole life began to slant in this new direction. For which I am extremely grately. Will write more about these Vows and "Dead" and Intention Prayers another time.

More Pausing at the Crossroads

So.... you are maybe wondering how I did with pausing at every choice point/cross roads yesterday. Ha! Of course I completely forgot after the walk with Suzy!

I did experience some yummy slow time in the morning and early afternoon... a lovely flow of time where I just did the next thing I felt like doing- computer... reading.... shower.... cleaned bedroom, shifted things on altar.... put things away.... wrote in journal......

And then last night after Easter dinner, I read on the front porch for an hour and then just SAT on the couch with Jeff and watched Sunday Morning and Amazing Race. Just sat. That is a big deal for me because usually I do computer work because it's a good time to get mindless tasks done...etc. But last night I slowed myself down enough to just sit. So that felt good.

I realize that it may take me a long while to program my brain to STOP and Stand Still several times a day when I am getting ready to switch activities. And that is perfectly OKAY. The neural pathways need to be grooved and grooved until they are a part of me, and I will be patient with myself until this happens.

Pausing at the Crossroads

So I guess I stopped my Standing Still practice while I was on retreat last week. I mean, I "stood still" in relation to my everyday life I guess. And I even watched four whole episodes of Being Erica on Thursday night online without doing anything else. I found that very restful and creatively soothing somehow. I love that show and feel connected to the characters especially "Dr. Tom" who is always using quotations to help his clients.

Back to the topic at hand.

Anyway, I didn't walk yesterday because it was so cold and rainy and I was really in an emotional funk about all kinds of stuff, including the fact that it was our 16th anniversary on Friday and I wanted something really special and all I got was indigestion because I ordered the fried clams instead of the haddock. Ah. Interesting, just to notice.

Today I got up earlier than Jeff and shut off his alarm to let him sleep longer, so I took Suzy for a nice long walk. As soon as I started walking, under the trees, hearing the birds sing, I thought, "Ah. This is it." And I feel back in the rhythm of my life again. I guess even going on retreat can mess up my rhythm, even if it IS a good and healthy and spiritually enlightening thing for me to do.

So while on my walk today I decided to pause, to stop and Stand Still every time I turned a corner or crossed to a new street. That was my idea from the beginning but I haven't really followed it. It is a discipline, remembering to do it. But it felt really good.

And I am still questioning what it is exactly that I should be DOING during those Standing Still times. I have been trying a number of things in the last few months since I started this practice: breathing, feeling my feet grounded into the earth, saying a short prayer, focusing on a word, seeing what is around me, listening to what is around me.

Today I just Stood Still and took three deep breaths in and out, eyes open, and stayed there until I could feel my head return to my body. An interesting concept, eh? Like a little mini-reunion inside of me!

And at other times, when I was actually walking, I found it helpful to say something like, "This is me and I am breathing." Or "This is me, feeling sad." "This is me pulling on Suzy's leash and feeling her pulling in the other direction." That was very calming and soothing. Full of a deep self-acceptance.

I wish, wish, WISH I could practice this in my daily life. I KNOW, know, KNOW that my relationship with food would change if I could just do this throughout an ordinary day. If I could Stand Still before doing "the next thing" and just breathe myself back into my body. If I could just STOP before loading my plate with food at the Easter dinner today. If I could just Slow Down enough to remember who I am and what my priorities are.

And I am hearing my Bright Ones say... "You can, dear one... it just takes time and practice and you are on the right path."

Amen to that. Over and out. Reporting back in tomorrow, or later tonight as hopefully I will have something good to report.

How It Looks and Feels

This is how my day usually looks and feels:

got up fed the cats emptied litter box checked three email accounts answered emails ate gluten free bagel with almond butter walked dog took shower wrote a new web page


And here is how I WANT my morning to look and feel:

got up

fed the cats

emptied litter box

checked three email accounts answered emails

ate gluten free bagel with almond butter

walked dog

took shower

wrote a new web page



Do you see the difference?

The first one is rushed and everything is all jumbled together. It is hard to tell where one thing begins and the other ends. Which is exactly how it feels to be rushing through my life.

The second one has lots of white space (Standing Still, pausing) around each thing that I "did" and feels slower, easier, clearer to understand.

Well, that is how I want my life to be..... slower, clearer, easier to understand, with lots of white space in my mind around each thing that I "do."

Here's to another day of trying!

Just Listen

I am on retreat for a few days at Rolling Ridge in Andover, MA. After I got settled in, I walked around the grounds and down to the lake. There was a bench right by the water and I sat there for several minutes.

Have been feeling inner urgings towards using this time here to LISTEN, just to listen. To listen within and listen to guidance from without, from the other side. And I am seeing that in order to listen, I need to be Standing Still. Or Sitting Still. Or some version of Inward Stillness.

I look at these next few days as a wider practice of Standing Still, a different version of it. Obviously, two full days is longer than 15 seconds. But I have been on personal retreats before that were even longer than this, but did not still myself inside to listen hardly at all.

So this is a new adventure for me, using this retreat time, this Time Away, to practice Standing Still in a different, more powerful way. I know that every day cannot be like this, and I accept this and I let go of the yearning for yet more and MORE of this stillness. All I do have is right now. Please, Spirit, allow me the luxury of enjoying these next two days moment by moment.

By the Light of the Moon

I am noticing that I am finding it hard to actually Stand Still when I have some other big thing on my mind. Like getting ready to go away. I'm leaving on a personal retreat this morning and yesterday was filled with catching up on stuff to do to get ready for me to be away.

And I could hear my thoughts which were something like this, every time I thought maybe I could Stand Still for a few seconds, "Oh don't worry about that. We can do lots and lots of that when we're on retreat!" And so I didn't stop yesterday, not even once until I sat down to watch Glee with Jeff.

Of course, it didn't help that it was raining in the morning and I didn't get to walk with Suzy. Or that I had an almost 2 hour conference call in the afternoon PLUS two vet visits- one with Suzy for her annual check-up and one with Sasha for an ear infection. Or that after Sasha's appointment at 6 pm I had to drive to Whole Foods
(25 min. drive) to get the homeopathic remedy.

Sigh. At least I am aware, right?

Some day, may this all be different. For now, I am just doing the best that I can.

Anyway, on Monday night I was having trouble sleeping so I got up at 2 a.m. (or was it 3?) and stood out on the back deck with Suzy, letting the light of the full moon glow around me. I felt loved, protected, seen. So there was a good amount of Standing Still happening right then and that felt soooo good.

What I love about the longer amounts of Standing Still (if I can do it for a whole minute or longer) is that I feel like I am giving myself time and space, that I am breathing spaciousness into my life in a concrete and visceral way that allows me to make room for Spirit, for my higher and brightest self, and for my Bright Ones, to move in closer to me. It feels like I am putting space between this thing and the next thing, and doing that relieves a lot of pressure, a lot of stress. Am not sure I am expressing this properly. But it's enough for today!

Ripple Effects

I did practice Standing Still several times on my walk yesterday morning. And I returned to the same little tree and held the blossoms in my hand. They are bigger, fuller, harder, plumper, and I can see little bits of pink mixed in with the green now. Am not sure what kind of tree it is.

This is like a little miracle to me because I have never in my life noticed things like this before. I would be racing around 100 mph and then all of a sudden, one day driving down the street I would notice that all of the leaves on the trees were out and full and new green and I would wonder "When the heck did THAT happen?"

So it feels really really good to be slowed down enough to be paying attention to what is happening out in nature right now!

Also, I stopped one time and Sat Still in my car before getting out and going into CVS.

And then at night, in bed with Jeff, as we were hugging good night, I actually slowed down enough to Lie Still with him and really really feel every part of his body touching mine. And because of that, I could really feel in my heart how much I cherished him: body, mind AND spirit. This has not happened in eons either.

So I can officially say that my Standing Still Experiment is having a lovely warm Ripple Effect throughout the rest of my life. Who knows what other wonders lie in wait!

Yesterday's Walk

Yesterday I stopped and stood still a couple of times: once to admire a red cardinal skimming across the phone wires and another time to breathe in my connection to a glossy black crow cawing in a treetop.

My favorite Standing Still time yesterday, though, came when I stopped at a young tree whose buds were just about to break open. The last few days, everything has been closed up, and tight. No signs of anything. But yesterday, I could see the beginnings of green edging almost every tree. What a glorious site! And then to see a small tree up close that is getting close to bursting open.... a miracle. I cupped a cluster of buds in my hands and just breathed in that miracle.

And I wondered... what soul buds are striking forth their energy right now inside of ME? What is just waiting for the last stroke of sun to call forth their fullness of growth?

Single Tasking

The other night I sat for a whole hour in front of the TV and did not do ANYTHING else. I didn't eat, didn't check other channels at commercial times, didn't go into the DVR and try to find anything new to record. I just sat there.

It was a Dancing with the Stars results show, and I was interested in the outcome, but not THAT interested! In fact, because we have a DVR, we usually don't watch a show in "live" time, but after the fact so we can fast forward through the commercials. So I'm not used to watching actual commercials anymore. Thank God/Goddess for the mute button!

I am pretty pleased with myself that I actually was able to DO it, because to tell the truth, I didn't think I COULD do it, and I did not especially WANT to do it. I am so used to multi-tasking. When I DON'T multi-task, it feels like I am wasting time. I'll have to look at that as another entry in here some day.



Also, last night, I did the same thing with Modern Family- only half an hour, and we skipped through the commercials. BUT... I just sat there, hands in my lap, and watched. It was lovely. I really do love that show and was able to really experience the full belly laughs that aren't quite as real or as potent when I am working on my computer at the same time.

So... that was my experiment in Single Tasking. Not exactly the same thing as Standing Still and anchoring myself back into the Present Moment. But definitely related! I will look for more opportunities for Single-Tasking today and see what comes up.